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  • Writer's pictureKathie Owen

Should is A Dirty Word


Stop Shoulding On Yourself with Kathie's Coaching

How often do you use the word "should?" After reading this blog post you might want to re-think this. Hopefully it will make you more aware.


Do these statements ring for you?

*This traffic should not be here.

*This weather should be better.

*She should not be talking like that.

*He should not treat me like this.

*It should not be Monday already.

*It should be Friday.

*The news should be more positive.

*That should have never happened.


If you are should-ing on things you are sucked into a pendulum. Pendulums can and will suck your energy dry. That is what they seek to do, they seek to hook you in and take your energy. How do you get out of a pendulum? Become aware. Notice that it is there. Feel what you feel but quickly let the opinion of it go. If you are labeling it negatively (and should-s do that) then you are letting the pendulum drain your energy.


What are pendulums? You ask. I first heard of them in Reality Transurfing. A pendulum is a thought structure and is very contagious if you are not aware. We find pendulums every where. The most easily identifiable are those around being a Democrat or Republican or a sports team. The more powerful the pendulum the easier it is to get sucked into. This means you think those are your thoughts when in fact they are the social consciousness. They are everywhere: workplaces, cultures, races, media, politics, sports teams and the list goes on and on.


Pendulums are not always bad too. For example, the girl who works at CNN derives her career out of the pendulum, whereas the person watching the news on constant background is giving their energy away.


Pendulums seek to hook you by taking your energy because that makes them more powerful. The way to get your power back and avoid the hook is to become aware and allow it to be.


For example, let's change those should-s to allowing:

*This traffic is here. I will allow it perhaps there is something I would have seen or heard if I was not forced to slow down and sit in traffic.

*This weather is rainy. I will find something to enjoy about it.

*She can talk however she wants. It is not a reflection of myself, enjoy listening to her perspective.

*He is not treating me any certain way. That is his choice to do that and I choose otherwise.

*It is Monday and I face the day with intentional, positive vibes.

*And Friday will be here soon enough. I face every day with intentional positive vibes.

*The news is what it is. I refuse to watch it. If it does come into my awareness I see it for what it is.

*This situation did happen to me and I allow it to be what it is. It hurt me but I am thankful that I had the opportunity to learn from this.


Change your should-s into awareness and watch what happens.


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Until next time, much love!! Kathie


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