This is probably the most significant gift of detachment. When you think of Victor, what do you see? I think living in Victor is the safest, most peaceful way to live. I picture Morgan Freeman in the movies Evan Almighty or Bruce Almighty. Morgan Freeman plays God in the movie. And Victor is living in God. We all can get there, you just have to get out of ego/fear. Look at Steve Carell’s expression in this picture, it is one of fear. And Morgan Freeman is all relaxed and actually laughing inside. When you watch the movie watch how Morgan Freeman/God teaches people to get out of ego and into Victor. He is Victor. (you’ll want to see the youtube link at the end of this post, it shows Morgan Freeman teaching someone how to get out of victim)
There are only 3 places you could be: it is either Victor, victim or victimizer – period. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.
Right this minute I want you to think of someone you are angry or have been angry with in the past (even if it is yourself), and I want you to see where you are – Victor, victim, or victimizer. If you are in Victor you are at peace – no matter what.
Oprah Winfrey was talking one time of someone she was angry with as she had a huge argument with this person a few hours earlier. Oprah was out shopping, still caught up with her anger at this person, stewing over the argument. All of a sudden in the distance she saw this gal. The girl was laughing and carrying on with another person acting as if she had no care in the world. Oprah thought to herself, how could this gal be so happy? After all they had just had a huge argument and Oprah herself was miserable. The person Oprah had the argument with was in Victor (at that moment).
Oprah on the other hand was in victim mode. She was still caught up in the argument or caught up in ego. Note, in Victor there is no ego, or very little of it for that matter. Oprah did not expand on the details of the argument but for demonstration purposes let’s go into the details of an argument, and think of any argument you have been in, because they are all the same.
Let’s say Oprah approached the woman in the store and started the argument again. Oprah is in victim mode and let me tell you ALL humans can pick up on victim mode subconsciously. Victims ask to be victimized by their behavior. Let’s say that Oprah went up to that woman and told her, “OMG I am so angry with you for not inviting me to the business luncheon! How could you leave me out of that oh so important event? I am the creator of that charity and I really needed to be there!”
The woman then yells back at her “How dare you judge me like that! I had my own proposal and I was going in a different direction and you just would not fit in to the agenda. I had my reasons. Get over it!”
Guess what mode that woman is in? Yup you guessed right, victimizer!! Every victim gets a victimizer….every argument, every time. Then sometimes (I’d say most times) the victim is so tired of being victimized they become the victimizer. In our example Oprah would come back with, “Well that is just rude and selfish of you. How dare you leave me out of the program. Don’t you realize the power I have?”
And the argument escalates until it is out of control and someone ends up defeated and a complete victim. That victim then takes their victimhood elsewhere and continues the cycle with another person who either consciously or subconsciously picks up on their victimhood. Every argument or angry situation goes through this vicious cycle. If you drew a figure 8 between victim and victimizer it would be continual. And know that you also become a victim and a victimizer within yourself.
HOW DOES ONE END THIS CYCLE? OR BREAK THAT FIGURE 8? Along comes Victor. Victor is neither a victim nor a victimizer.
It is easy to live in Victor, especially when you see others living in victim or victimizer. You can pick up on what their personality is telling you. Get in touch with noticing the victim or the victimizer and see how you can stop it from getting out of control. This goes for inner (self) arguments as well.
Once you realize what mode the person is in, try to find a way to let them vent (ego) and then cap it by swallowing your ego and step into Victor. Get out of that vicious cycle and get into peace. It is a much better way to live. It takes time and practice, sometimes lots of time and practice. Pray about it. Faith will always show you a way to Victor. Always.
Funny….Faith is another gift of detachment….:)
One of my favorite parts of the movie Evan Almighty. Watch how God/Morgan Freeman teaches the girl get out of victim: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxPKjruTuxw
rts of the movie Evan Almighty. Watch how God/Morgan Freeman teaches the girl get out of victim: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxPKjruTuxw