Hurt People. Hurt People
The year is 1977 I was in the 7th grade I had to walk to school. It was humiliating at this tender age as almost all of the kids I grew up with had parents who drove them to school along the road I walked. My mom did want to get out in "traffic" on this 2 mile journey. So I was forced to suck it up and walk.
As always I found the advantage in everything! I had this adorable little black dog who used to meet me halfway every single day and walk about 2 blocks with me. He was my bright spot in this walk. I do not know where he came from and it was such a pleasure to see him every morning. He would greet me with a wag of his tail and walk beside me with a smile on his face. He was like a guardian angel. And actually he was (and is) one of my guardian angels.
One dreary, weathered morning I was greeted by him. But this morning, as we walked along our journey he ventured out into the busy street and got hit by a van. He ran away with a loud yelp. And the van did not stop. As I approached him to help him he tried to bite me much to my shock and amazement. Being 12 years old I did not know what to do. So I continued my walk to school in tears. I was sad the entire day and I could only hope and pray that his owners found him and took care of him.
Much to my dismay, I will spare you the details that happened later in the day, he did not make it. While I know this is a very sad story, I learned valuable lessons from it and apply them to this very day. As we all can learn from so called "horrible" events. Do we really know it was "horrible?"
Having said all that, let's go back to the moment in which the dog was hit by the car. He reacted, as most animals do in that situation, in FEAR. He was afraid and in pain. The only reaction he could conjure up was fear based, so he tried to bite me when I reached down to help.
When humans hurt, they react in fear. That fear comes out as hurt and they try to bite the ones they love or anyone whom they can victimize along their path of fear. As we dig deep into victim mode our reaction is to come out as victimizer. This is why hurt people, hurt people.
How do we get out of victim mode? We find a way to victor or find the advantage. And definitely conjure up some compassion for those who live in fear.
While I was only 12 years old at the time I had no skills to find victor. It was not until I trained my mind through extensive therapy and personal development in my 30s (20 years ago now); that I could actually conjure up the skills to find ADVANTAGE in EVERYTHING.
When we react in victim we are afraid. Find the cloud's silver lining and you will no longer feel the fear. The fear will crystallize into something new and better: like confidence, joy, peace, understanding, compassion and all the good things that come with living in victor.
Sometimes that silver lining just means you drop importance and realize that nothing is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.
I apologize for the rawness of this post and realize it may trigger some sad thoughts but know that is not my intention, nor was it the dog's intention who walks beside me now! 😇
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