"To complain is always non-acceptance of what is. It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge. When you complain, you make yourself into a victim. Leave the situation, change the situation, or accept it. All else is madness." -Eckhart Tolle
Who wants to carry an unconscious negative charge? A complainer does, as explained in the quote. As Eckhart explains it is best to leave the situation, change the situation or accept it. Think of a time when you complained about something and how you could get rid of the negative charge by doing one of those 3 things.
Have you ever been around someone who does not complain? They are a joy to be around. Think of a time you complained about a certain circumstance and find a solution to that complaint by either: leaving the situation, changing the situation or accepting it.
During my last court battle with my ex in 2013 I had a friend who was using the same attorney as myself. In all my years of court battles I learned that attorneys can be very hard core mean and will take every bit that they can. Court battles are VERY emotional. My attorney was doing what she could for me, I could have complained and cried a river but I did not. I learned to “accept it” for what it was. I rarely complained and if I did it was more to just vent what I was going through. And that venting took place with very close, safe friends. I did not air my dirty laundry.
My friend sadly complained to me and those who would listen about her situation, more specifically our attorney. She had been going through a divorce for about 5 years then. I had been through the court system for 13 years by then and about 6 attorneys too. I knew how they operated. In saying all of this, it all worked out, for everyone involved. It is now 4 years later.
Detachment takes a big heart and stepping back and looking at the BIG picture. You can not complain in the moment. It brings a negative chip and you become a victim. The victim mentality is not a good place to be. People pick up on victim mentality subconsciously and things can spiral out of control from that. The negativity will wear you down, trust me. I let things go a long time ago. Things worked out as they always do. It just takes detachment which means having faith and acting in victor. Don’t be a victim. Quit complaining. Detach and look at the big picture. Will this really matter in the big picture? I seriously doubt it. Breathe and quit complaining. You’ll find a lot more positivity in your life if you do.